Music of the Month: 6767 Love Misunderstood

Knitting Graph by EbonixEsra
Original Photo by @reneethomspsonco

When Deep Love Misses the Receiver and Deceives the Giver

Before anything else I want to credit the photographer of the thumbnail image: @reneethomspsonco , you can entrancing images just like this at www.unsplash.com and be sure to follow her directly if you feel called to! I use Unsplash+ so that I can use photos for commercial and personal purposes.

Journal #3

01/03/2022

Dear fellow Spiritual Adventurers,

I wanted to blend two areas that of my life that make me feel a sense of mental peace, listening to music and studying numerology. While my intention is to produce work that blends all of my loves together into one big project, or two, or five, if I can push through my imposter syndrome, I hope to do this for 15 years, or however long I am needed.

Here are the energies I’m addressing. If you’d like to know more about Numerology in its simplest form, check out my video: More Than a 1,2,3… Numerology 101.

-6 energy: related love, adoration, balance, responsible behavior
-7 energy: related to the mind, observations, holy cycles, introspective behavior

Anyways, I want to talk about misunderstood love. Love that desperately desires to exist outside the mind, to be reflected in one’s external environment but never materializes as it needs to. While one may say, isn’t 7 great energy, we should be thoughtful, introspective, observant. Wouldn’t that go nicely with our ability to love and adore others, to be motivated to connect with others on a deeper level than the physical… Some may even say sapiosexual vibes (which will elicit side eyes due to it’s ableist nature lol).

And that’s true, when intention and impact meet, in the best way, it can be a beautiful thing. Sans ableist terms. I’m not saying that 7 energy and 6 energy can never get along, any energy can, if you work it well enough (though I will never claim it will always be easy, in any scenario).

In this moment, think of aspects of yourself that don’t quite gel, but you hold space for both of them, because in some wild irrational way, they work for you. The deep thoughts, the scary emotions, the deep love, the enlightening emotions. THE THOUGHTS. They make sense to you.


TO YOU.

See, this is where the problem lies, because like many, I too have fallen short, where I thought my intentions were clear, but my compulsions would lead my tongue to destruction. Sometimes, no matter how much I try to express my love and care to another, it may not reach the receiver as intended. That can be due to anxiety being what comes out of my mouth. Or pain. Sadly, I’ve learned that if I express my real authentic thoughts, all of the time, that that is not always the best way to be express care.

That’s how you love. I thought.. In a world of confusion, isn’t it beautiful to get someone’s honest thoughts? From the deepest parts of one’s mind? At least that’s how I thought.

No… not really, because if it’s garbled and confused, I’m not sure if that’s honest or honestly a mess. I think at it’s best it’s the former, at it’s worst, the latter. Either way, the relationship between expressing love and expressing one’s inner thoughts, is, delicate.

To address another, to mentally sift through the anxiety, the fear of letting another down, of being let down. To mentally sift through the desire to be loved but struggling to give self love, or to give love that isn’t co-dependent, or that comes off self serving in an attempt to be balanced.

How do you show up for love, mentally, how do others show up for love you mentally, and do those arrivals make sense? Or are the messages of love given and received missed and understood as something else entirely.

These are my thoughts really, hopefully these can be understood…

Sincerely & Dearly,

Eboni Esra


P.S. I don’t mean for this to be a formal article, this is a journal entry that I believe reflects what I channeled while preparing this monthly playlist. Songs will be added through the end of this month, sometimes afterwards as well. You is me lol. But you can be you too.

P.S.S. What song would you say relates to this blending of energy, for you? Mind sharing?